We have all heard the expression, “Spoiled Rotten,” at least once in our lives. We often use it lightly when we lavish tons of love onto a small child, but is it really a cute and acceptable thing?
Growing up, I was spoiled rotten. My grandmother would give me anything I wanted. I lived with my mom and sister, and we were what you would call “poor.” However, I watched as my mom, a single mom at that, worked her tail off. She put herself through school and worked a job to provide for my sister and I. We didn’t have a lot, but we always had enough. However, enough was never good enough for me. I always wanted more. Name brand shoes, designer clothes, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, etc. Anytime I wanted something, I would bat my eyes at my grandma and she would happily oblige me. Why would I need to work if I had everything I wanted?
This rottenness carried me into adulthood. I had many jobs that I took and then quit, simply because I felt like it. I could justify it many ways, but in reality, I just didn’t want to work. Then I became a mother. I started wanting my daughter to have everything and I could do without. I began to see that I needed to do something with my time, so I started and quit many college programs. My baby-daddy (now husband) and I lived with my mom and sister because we could not afford to live on our own. I mean how can one pay bills if one loved to spend?
When we were expecting our third child, we knew we had to get out and live on our own. We made the decision to buy a house. Purchasing our own home was a major accomplishment for Tim and I. We were proud of the home, but we wanted to live a lifestyle that did not fit our pocket book. We spent and spent and did not pay our bills. When the first notice of foreclosure came, it was pretty difficult to swallow. We worked with the mortgage company and worked it out. Then, the next notice of foreclosure came. In all, I think we had four foreclosure notices. We filed bankruptcy because the mortgage company would not help us. I even blamed the mortgage company, as if it were their fault that we didn’t pay our bills.
A church we attended helped us out of one of our foreclosures and it woke me up. I did not want to be one of those people that lived off handouts from others. I decided to do something. I became motivated to finish school and get a decent paying job. I went to school, raised small children at home and for the first time in my life, I worked for something. I worked hard, and it felt good.
I finished school but could not find a job. I searched and searched and had no luck. We began attending a different church (for many reasons and another story for another day) and felt that God wanted us to tithe. In the past, I thought volunteering my time to the church was a tithe, but it wasn’t. A tithe is the first 10% of your pay…period. I hated the idea of giving money to a church that I felt didn’t need it. We were having a hard time buying food to eat and I was expected to give money to a church with people that probably do not know what it is like to miss a meal? Yes, that is exactly what I was supposed to do. God was asking me to stop looking at everyone else and focus on my life alone. Deciding to trust God was a personal thing and should be only taken personally. So I did it, I jumped in faith and tithed. The next day I got a job offer…no joke.
There have been challenges along the way, but I have learned that if I want a house, car, clothes, food, etc.; then I have to pay for them. To pay for them, I have to work. It is not any person’s responsibility to provide for my family when I am certainly capable of providing a portion. I have worked for the same place for the past five years. God has kept his promises from Malachi 3:10 that if I tithe, then He will pour out an abundant blessing on me and my kids. He says to test Him and let Him show you how faithful He is.
I have come across people in my life that live off of others. They feel that they are owed something from the world and so they take, and take. It is time for this to stop! If you are one of these people, I urge you to get up and go find a job. No one owes you anything, but you do owe yourself a chance at success. Work as if you are working for God and tithe your first 10%.
If you are someone that constantly gives to another that is capable of providing for themselves but are too lazy to work, stop! Sometimes we have to let others do without so that they can learn how to earn. Seek God on this so that He can show you who to give to and when.
I am not tolerant of anyone that refuses to work, blows all of the money they have and then begs for help when the bills aren’t paid. There is a way out, but you have to work for it and trust God to provide, not those around you; after all, they are not God. If I can do it then anyone can.